First Tweet chronicles the ignorance, beauty, and love found on the Twitter pages of athletes the first time they attempt to carve 140 characters.
In light of a captivating start to the 2014 NBA Playoffs, I went back and found the first Tweet of each franchise player for every team that made the postseason.
No. 1 San Antonio Spurs: Because Tim Duncan and his eighth grade wardrobe doesn’t have a Twitter account, the star power falls to Tony Parker.
thank u spurs fans for coming by today at the open practice thanks for your support!!!merci d etre venu spurs fans… http://bit.ly/9dlhf
— Tony Parker (@tonyparker) October 4, 2009
No. 2 Oklahoma City Thunder: Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook are the two-headed hydra that nobody wants a piece of.
@itsmechaneliman yep finally….it seems like im very late though
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) April 28, 2009
Bowling!!!!How U Gon Act??
— Russell Westbrook (@russwest44) April 29, 2009
One could make the argument Russell Westbrook’s entire life is followed by exclamation points.
No. 3 Los Angeles Clippers: Blake Griffin and Chris Paul are the two most marketed athletes in the NBA.
out in L.A. for the weekend just had a late birthday celebration for my brother at my agents house. happy bday taylor.
— Blake Griffin (@blakegriffin32) May 1, 2009
— Chris Paul (@CP3) July 5, 2009
No. 4 Houston Rockets: James Harden and Dwight Howard want to be the two most marketed athletes in the NBA.
sitting in the green room….about to watch my future unfold before me…
— James Harden (@JHarden13) June 25, 2009
Excited about the new website! www.dwighthoward.com
— Dwight Howard (@DwightHoward) November 22, 2008
Self-aware Dwight has found a home next to self-aware Harden!!!!!!!!
No. 5 Portland Trailblazers: Damian Lillard and LaMarcus Aldridge should be the two most marketed athletes in the NBA.
One day my idols will become my competition, use to be like GOD to me, now I'm losing my religion . . .
— Damian Lillard (@Dame_Lillard) March 16, 2011
One can only guess as to the claim Lillard is making *cough, he’s on the rise, cough*
I am trying to get the hang of this! I feel like an old man that can't work a computer. Lol
— Lamarcus Aldridge (@aldridge_12) February 7, 2011
Aldridge has given off the old-man vibe since college.
No. 6 Golden State Warriors: Steph Curry and Klay Thompson (splash-zone simpletons)
twitter is legit…
— Stephen Curry (@StephenCurry30) May 26, 2009
Officially back on Twitter. Looking forward to the second half of the season. Shoutout to #DubNation.
— klay thompson (@KlayThompson) February 19, 2014
No. 7 Memphis Grizzlies: Zach Randolph [in primetime]
check out my CNN interview! http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/sports/2010/12/23/am.randolph.grizzlies.cnn?iref=allsearch
— Zach Randolph (@MacBo50) December 27, 2010
For the love of Anderson Cooper, how did Z-Bo land an interview with CNN!?!?!?!?!?!?
No. 8 Dallas Mavericks: Dirk Nowitzki, leading the league in likeability.
Im on Twitter!
— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) October 21, 2010
No. 1 Indiana Pacers: Paul George the enthusiast
— Paul George (@Yg_Trece) July 4, 2009
No. 2 Miami Heat: LeBron James and Dwayne Wade [embracers of punctuation]
Hello World, the Real King James is in the Building "Finally". My Brother @oneandonlycp3 gas'd me up to jump on board so I'm here. Haaaa
— LeBron James (@KingJames) July 6, 2010
just out of practice in ATL..putting the past behind and focused…
— DWade (@DwyaneWade) April 21, 2009
No. 3 Toronto Raptors: DeMar DeRozan was coolin’ before coolin’ was fashionable
chilling bout hit up ESPN zone….
— DeMar DeRozan (@DeMar_DeRozan) June 23, 2009
No. 4 Chicago Bulls: Joakim Noah thinking of his stomach
— Joakim Noah (@JoakimNoah) February 22, 2012
Of course Joakim Noah sought out Twitter to express his interest in americanized Chinese cuisine.
No. 5 Washington Wizards: John Wall and Bradley Beal love that ellipsis
nuttin just chillin….new to this twitter thing!!!
— John Wall (@JohnWall) April 13, 2010
target on my back..time to work harder !
— Bradley Beal (@RealDealBeal23) June 8, 2010
No. 6 Brooklyn Nets: The ancient Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett
Man its a beautiful day here in the Beantown I'm just chillen today to all my twitter friends doc gave us the day off so I just plan on …
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) March 28, 2009
It takes some a bit longer to figure out the character limit.
The irony of the hashtag. *Cue “I’m the man, I’m the man, I’m the man” track*
No. 7 Charlotte Bobcats: Kemba Walker out here trying to start a dialogue
@aoriakhi34 I'm backkkk
— Kemba walker (@KembaWalker) March 23, 2011
No. 8 Atlanta Hawks: Jeff Teague (a man of few words)
just got this
— Jeff Teague (@Teague0) March 21, 2011
Teague might have the least punctuation of any Twitter bio found on the site.