First Tweet: 2014 NBA Playoff Franchise Player Edition

First Tweet chronicles the ignorance, beauty, and love found on the Twitter pages of athletes the first time they attempt to carve 140 characters.


In light of a captivating start to the 2014 NBA Playoffs, I went back and found the first Tweet of each franchise player for every team that made the postseason.

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Western Conference

No. 1 San Antonio Spurs: Because Tim Duncan and his eighth grade wardrobe doesn’t have a Twitter account, the star power falls to Tony Parker.

No. 2 Oklahoma City Thunder: Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook are the two-headed hydra that nobody wants a piece of.

One could make the argument Russell Westbrook’s entire life is followed by exclamation points.

No. 3 Los Angeles Clippers: Blake Griffin and Chris Paul are the two most marketed athletes in the NBA.

No. 4 Houston Rockets: James Harden and Dwight Howard want to be the two most marketed athletes in the NBA.

Self-aware Dwight has found a home next to self-aware Harden!!!!!!!!

No. 5 Portland Trailblazers: Damian Lillard and LaMarcus Aldridge should be the two most marketed athletes in the NBA.

One can only guess as to the claim Lillard is making *cough, he’s on the rise, cough*

Aldridge has given off the old-man vibe since college.

No. 6 Golden State Warriors: Steph Curry and Klay Thompson (splash-zone simpletons)

No. 7 Memphis Grizzlies: Zach Randolph [in primetime]

For the love of Anderson Cooper, how did Z-Bo land an interview with CNN!?!?!?!?!?!?

No. 8 Dallas Mavericks: Dirk Nowitzki, leading the league in likeability.

 

Eastern Conference

No. 1 Indiana Pacers: Paul George the enthusiast

No. 2 Miami Heat: LeBron James and Dwayne Wade [embracers of punctuation]

No. 3 Toronto Raptors: DeMar DeRozan was coolin’ before coolin’ was fashionable

No. 4 Chicago Bulls: Joakim Noah thinking of his stomach

Of course Joakim Noah sought out Twitter to express his interest in americanized Chinese cuisine.

No. 5 Washington Wizards: John Wall and Bradley Beal love that ellipsis

No. 6 Brooklyn Nets: The ancient Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett

It takes some a bit longer to figure out the character limit.

https://twitter.com/RealKGarnett/statuses/210106004602503168

The irony of the hashtag. *Cue “I’m the man, I’m the man, I’m the man” track*

No. 7 Charlotte Bobcats: Kemba Walker out here trying to start a dialogue

No. 8 Atlanta Hawks: Jeff Teague (a man of few words)

Teague might have the least punctuation of any Twitter bio found on the site.

 

Josh Planos

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Josh Planos hopes to one day write about sports like the millennial version of Cormac McCarthy; he's working on it. His work has been featured at Washington Post, Denver Post, ESPN TrueHoop Network, SB Nation, Bleacher Report, Buckets Magazine, and Rivals. Currently, he writes for Washington Post Sports, BallerBall of the ESPN TrueHoop Network, FanSided, and The Pick and Roll. He loves interacting with readers via Twitter. Leads can be sent to jplanos1@gmail.com | Portfolio: josh-planos.squarespace.com | Tweets by @JPlanos

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